Sleep Deprivation Coordinator T-Shirt

$24.04 CAD

Job Summary:
You’re the backbone of irrational 3AM decisions, existential spirals, and aggressively scrolling through content you’ve already seen. A vital member of the team, responsible for ensuring no one gets more than 3 consecutive hours of rest - for no reason.

Key Responsibilities:

  • Strategically delaying bedtime with unnecessary tasks and deep-dive video rabbit holes
  • Conducting nightly risk assessments of “just one more episode”
  • Mentally re-living 2009 arguments instead of sleeping
  • Collaborating with the Overthinking Department on joint 1AM panic projects

Essential Qualifications:
✔️ Certified in Doomscrolling and Screen Staring
✔️ Proficient in saying “I’m so tired” 14x a day
✔️ Experience in collapsing into bed but still not falling asleep
✔️ Able to run on caffeine, spite, and existential momentum

Benefits:

  • Complimentary eye bags (designer, obviously)
  • Full access to intrusive thoughts between 2:00–4:00 AM
  • Team nap time (conceptual only — never actually happens)

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More details

  • 100% cotton
  • 100% cotton
  • Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
  • Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester
  • Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester
  • Midweight fabric (5 oz)
  • Regular fit
  • Pre-shrunk jersey knit

Size & Fit

Quality Guarantee & Returns

  • Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
  • Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.