Ex Text Risk Assessment Specialist T-Shirt
Role Summary:
This essential uniform is worn by elite professionals who specialize in decoding, overanalyzing, and almost sending risky late-night texts to exes. As an Ex Text Risk Assessment Specialist, you know that one “hey” can trigger a 3-week emotional audit.
Key Responsibilities:
- Perform 72-step analysis on every “u up?” impulse
- Forward all emotional drafts to the group chat for approval
- Implement blackout protocols after 2 glasses of wine
Required Skills:
✔️ Proficient in passive-aggressive ellipses (…)
✔️ Skilled in deleting and retyping the same message 14 times
✔️ Can sense “do not engage” energy from a mile away
Work Environment:
- Fast-paced, emotionally volatile
- Strict no-send policy without friend verification
- Occasional overtime during birthdays or nostalgia episodes
More details
- 100% cotton
- 100% cotton
- Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
- Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester
- Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester
- Midweight fabric (5 oz)
- Regular fit
- Pre-shrunk jersey knit
EU GPSR Product Information:
- Manufacturer contact information
- Name: Existence Solutions
- Email: contact@support.existencesolutions.store
- Postal address: PO Box 5696 Santa Monica, CA 90405
- Additional information: This product is made for adults. Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde level requirements. 2 year warranty in EEA and UK, established by Directive 1999/44/EC.
Size & Fit
Quality Guarantee & Returns
- Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
- Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.
Ex Text Risk Assessment Specialist T-Shirt Size Guide
| Size label | Length | Width | Sleeve length |
|---|---|---|---|
|
S
|
28
|
18
|
15.63
|
|
M
|
29
|
20
|
17
|
|
L
|
30
|
22
|
18 1/2
|
|
XL
|
31
|
24
|
20
|
|
2XL
|
32
|
26
|
21 1/2
|
|
3XL
|
33
|
28
|
22.8
|
|
4XL
|
34
|
30
|
24.2
|
|
5XL
|
35
|
32
|
25.3
|