💼 Now recruiting: Mid-Level Crisis Consultants (no prior stability required).
Situationship Strategist T-Shirt product image (1)
Situationship Strategist T-Shirt product image (2)
Situationship Strategist T-Shirt product image (1)
Situationship Strategist T-Shirt product image (2)

Situationship Strategist T-Shirt

$29.92 NZD

Job Overview:
You don’t fall into relationships - you navigate them with the precision of a PR-trained negotiator. Whether it’s “Are we talking?” or “What even are we?”, you're the one drawing mental flowcharts at 3AM.

Key Responsibilities:

  • Maintaining optimal emotional proximity without full commitment
  • Reading between the lines of “wyd” texts
  • Crafting professional-grade replies to “Let’s just see where it goes”
  • Conducting field research on ‘almost-relationships’ and mutual story-watching dynamics

Essential Skills:
✔️ Proficient in texting back just enough to keep things interesting
✔️ Expert in subtle IG story uploads as emotional chess moves
✔️ Negotiation skills: “I’m not looking for anything serious… unless you are”
✔️ Strong adaptability to mixed signals and late-night confessions

Work Perks:

  • No clear expectations, therefore no disappointments (in theory)
  • Unlimited strategic ambiguity
  • Casual uniform for when you're emotionally overdressed for a casual connection

Select Size

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More details

  • 100% cotton
  • 100% cotton
  • Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
  • Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester
  • Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester
  • Midweight fabric (5 oz)
  • Regular fit
  • Pre-shrunk jersey knit

Size & Fit

View size chart

Quality Guarantee & Returns

  • Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
  • Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.

Situationship Strategist T-Shirt Size Guide

Size guide preview
Size label Length Width Sleeve length
S
28
18
15.63
M
29
20
17
L
30
22
18 1/2
XL
31
24
20
2XL
32
26
21 1/2
3XL
33
28
22.8
4XL
34
30
24.2
5XL
35
32
25.3

Our suppliers provide the measurements. There may be a deviation of up to 2 inches (5 cm) in the product dimensions.

A useful tip! Compare measurements with a product you already own at home by measuring it and matching it to the sizes in this guide.

A Length

Start the tape at the collar's top next to the shirt's highest point on the shoulder. Extend the tape to the shirt's bottom.

B Width

Begin at the seam just under one sleeve and extend the tape across to the seam under the other sleeve.

C Sleeve length

Start measuring from the back center of the collar, follow the top seam of the sleeve to the shoulder, secure the tape at the shoulder, and continue down to the end of the sleeve.